I am waiting for my chicken that is cooking in the oven to be ready. I have decided that I will try to eat well this coming month. I need to take care of myself in order to keep up with the accumulating stress. This is a decisive month in my life. Everything will be built or broken, but I try not to think about the outcome yet. I am just scared.
Scared for any outcome. If I pass my Exam (I call it exam because it is more like an exam than a job talk), I will need to leave Paris. This makes me really sad. I will leave behind my friends, those lovely people who bring so much fun into my life. I will miss Paris, the city that takes my heart away every time I walk in the streets.
If I don’t pass the exam, then I will feel like a big time looser. I will have to collect my forces and apply for other positions and jobs. I know that in the end, I will find a solution and I will not end up in the streets. But still, the unknown is frightening.
I cook my chicken in an orange iron-cast pot. It is exactly like the one we had when I was a kid. The days when I would come home from school and find out that my mother had cooked chicken in this pot, I was in seventh heaven. The juicy chicken, the roasted potatoes, and the caramelized onions were devine! My biggest worry was to make sure that someone leaves me the wings and the neck. I would eat them with my hands and dip the bread in the sauce at the end. No worried for getting fat, nor for having acne, nothing. Life was simple and pleasant.
This brings me to the sweet subject of aging! I don’t like it and I am saying it loud. I am still quite young mind you, but the day I realized that being 25 was very far behind me, I felt weird. Nowadays, I joke about my weight by saying, I have a constant increase every year, like inflation. I hate the “love handles” hanging from each side and I definitely do not like my apple-size cheeks!
I forget my cheeks and remember my dinner. It is a revisited version of my mom’s recipe. I add some prunes, carottes and green pepper. I love the combination of sweet and salty. I remember the discussion today in our cafeteria. Someone suggested to our lab director to hire me as a cook, to cook for everybody. I told him to think about it seriously, since I will be jobless in few months!
Who knows, maybe I will become a cook and I will stay in Paris.